


Tobias' Journal for the 2019-2020 School Year- A Senior's Story

by TobiJoey (Tea_and_butterflies_13)



Series: The Life and Times of Tobias Joey [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Crossdressing, Diary/Journal, Dresses, Florida, High School, Lolita Fashion, Multi, Senior year, Suicide Attempt, Trans Male Character, alternative fashion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-09-23 15:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20342101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_and_butterflies_13/pseuds/TobiJoey
Summary: Follow my final year in high school. It's sure to be my last, regardless of if I graduate or not.





	1. Intro to People

**Author's Note:**

> The following entries are true. Names have been changed for everyone but my dog. I doubt that this will be enjoyable, but, I need to talk and talking is hard. Also, therapists are too expensive.

Hey. I’m Tobias Joey. No last name needed. I’m 19, Transmasculine, PanRomantic, Asexual, short, and white. I like anime, Brooklyn 99, animation, Joy Darling, Disney, Food, Marvel, and every single game I’ve ever played by The Wadjet Eye Games. Especially Blackwell. Obviously, considering the fact that I’m dumping my personal life out on a page on this site instead of, like, Tumblr, like every other white non-hetero with access to the internet, I like fanfiction, too. I guess I should get on with the introduction. 

The following entries are true. Names have been changed for everyone but my dog. I doubt that this will be enjoyable, but, I need to talk and talking is hard. Also, therapists are too expensive.

So, for a rundown of The people in my life:

Joy Darling- My best friend. More like my sister then my actual sister. I call her my platonic soulmate. I chose the last Name Darling, because, well, I call her Darling a lot. I really like nicknames.

Rain Storm- My actual sister. We don’t always get along is kind of an understatement. When we do get along, we get along great.

Mr. Pottery- My pottery teacher at school. He’s awesome. I’m interning for him for the first semester, and he’s going to still let me work on some of my projects.

Mother- My mother- Biologically, Legally.

Father- My Father. Any sort of name devolving from the word Dad refers to him. Ex-Navy.

Aunt Cora- Joy’s mom. We aren’t actually related, but I love her like she is.

Aunt Carolina- My Mom’s aunt. Generally pays for things in an emergency.

Mama- My adoptive mom. I don't talk to her as much as I should. I gotta get on that.

Karen Whittle- A good friend in my lolita comm.

Karena- A friend from school who graduated a few years back. We keep in touch, surprisingly.

Tyler Carrier- another good friend in my lolita comm.

Ms. Allice- Rain Storm’s Best Friend’s Mom- also friends with my mom.

Angel Zee- Rain Storm’s Best Friend

Kathy Lindy- If Joy Weren’t my best friend, Kathy would be.

Harry Martinez- My adoptive brother, but not legally. Is proudly Mexican, and will proudly say the most racist Mexican jokes.

Mimi- Harry’s Wife. She’s super sweet. Filipino.

Kenth Darling - Joy’s Father.

There are more to come, I’m sure. I’ll introduce them as they come up if I remember to.


	3. Second Entry

22 August 2019

You know, just because you could do things as a child, doesn’t mean that our generation can. Oh, you had to pay for your $.75 School lunches every week with your $1.50 weekly allowance? Oh boo hoo and BS. Oh, you didn’t have school fucking shootings when you were younger, because everyone had a shotgun in their car? Well that seems both irresponsible and suicidal. You say I don’t know what true evil looks like? True evil is the things that humanity does, such as rape, murder, hurting people because of who they love, or who they are. It’s the world burning with ways of slowing it down but refusing to because of human greed. It’s refusing medical necessities to people due to lack of money. It’s attacking people for reasons that boil down to “They’re different from me” in the end. It’s the United Fucking States turning into Nazi Germany. It’s no one noticing or caring that it’s turning into Nazi Germany. It’s Nazis in general. It’s children being put in cages. It’s turning people who only want a better and/or safer life for them and their families away while sitting our fat asses on land we stole while escaping to a better and safer life. It’s knowing that the world is LITERALLY ENDING and not willing to do anything to change the fate that your hairspray caused because it would ruin your precious way of life. It’s shutting someone up because you don’t like what it is they’re saying. It’s shutting people up because the truth makes them uncomfortable. It’s school shootings. It’s pedophilia. It’s torture. It’s racism. It’s homophobia. It’s transphobia. It’s not speaking up when you know something is wrong. It’s watching as someone is being hurt and not saying anything. It’s watching as someone is being hurt and not doing anything. It’s blaming everything but guns for mass shootings. It’s forgiving a white person for shooting or raping someone. It’s saying “Well, boys will be boys”. It’s doing nothing even if you think it’s not right. It’s in front of all of us daily. 

I might write more later. Sorry.   
\- Tobias Joey


	4. Third Entry: 9 September 2019

God. I'm just, so Tired. I got Zero Sleep last night. It all started with Spaghetti. My dad decided to make spaghetti last night, despite the fact that I CAN NOT CURRENTLY HAVE SOLID FOODS. Oh, yeah, I haven't updated recently. I'm sick right now. I got something from Rain Storm that currently has me feeling miserable. Anyway. Aside from that, Rain Storm waas carrying two plates to my mom's room. As She got to the area wghere the computer is, she tripped over Nick who decided to jump on her. One Plate spilled a bit, and my dad and sister got frustrated. So, my dad, (carrying no plates, me also carrying two) took the plate that spilled from Rain. Tells her to clean up. So she goes to the bathroom. The next part I didn't actually see, but I heard. Rain screams. Plate two has fallen to the floor. My dad is enraged."Oh, Come on," he roars, "You only had one Plate!!!" I can't remember exactly what happens, but Rain threatens to kill herself and goes out the front door. My dad roughly takes nick outside, and follows her. I go to my mother and inform her of what is going on. I go outside to make sure Rain isn't doing anything stupid, and my dad isn't killing Nick. All three are fine, and we all go back inside with orders to clean up. I get the smaller spill, Rain gets the larger spill. Her entire plate fell, no spaghetti off the floor. Rain is crying. I am... numb, I think. Dad is fuming. I text updates and try to keep the peace. I, again, don't remember what happens, but Rain screams that she's going to lay down in traffic. My Mother calls for me. I tell her to leave me alone, I have to help Rain. I run outside. Rain is headed to Mayport Rd. "Don't you Fucking dare," I say. Did I yell? I don't know. She tells me not to use that word. I apologize. I tell her to come back inside. I'll clean her part up. She can go to her room. Dad comes out. WE go in. She struggles at a part and I go to steady her. "Don't touch me!" I don't get it, but I leave her be, telling her to go to her room, and stay out of sight for a while. She doesn't. Dad tells her to eat his spaghetti. She doesn't want it. He's getting angry. I tell her to please do what he says. She goes to her room. I stop Nick from eating some fallen spaghetti. Mother calls for me. I tell her to leave it be, and that I'm trying to keep the peace. I clean the spaghetti. I put the spaghetti I was supposed to eat in a bowl. I take the bowl to my room. I lay down. I plug in my phone. I try to sleep. Joy calls. Her voice calms me slightly. We make plans for after my audition. I still have to reschedule my doctor's appt. for Friday. She talks. I listen. Her voice is soothing. She is Tired. She hangs up. "My Brain is tired, but my body is too awake." I had said that during Joy's call. I didn't sleep. I keep jostling my leg or rocking back and forth. I don't want to talk. I don't want to smile. I want to sleep. I can't. The electricity is too loud again. footsteps are too loud again. Everything is too loud again. Even the Keyboard. I'm At school. I'm Tired. I'm Thirsty. My abdomen hurts. My mouth feels weird. I feel gross. I showered at 3:38 this morning. I know that number because it was my girl scouts troop number. I'm not a girl. I want to sleep. I want it to stop everything is so oloud and bright and nothing is good. I want Joy. Joy is sleeping. Joy is not at school anymore. Joy Graduated. I need to graduate or I'll be a failure. Mother says that. My great uncle who I rea;lly like is in the hospilta;. things keep falling

bad day bad day bad day baddaybaddaybaddaybadday


End file.
